My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
that is very illegal...i love you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
