You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize