She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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