If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
