I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
