He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
