I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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