I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
