Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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