i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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