matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
