We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Congratulations! We have a period
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
