Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
