Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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