Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
