ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
