So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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