so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
