went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
