I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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