I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
