it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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