If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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