So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
