Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
