hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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