Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
