Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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