We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
