you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
