I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
