if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize