Your dad touched me again.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
