Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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