The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
