At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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