Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
