this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
