Plan B is the new Plan A
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
