can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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