does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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