So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
