some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
