I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
