it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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