Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
