and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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