She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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