he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She tied me up with her honor cords...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
