Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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