You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
