btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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