You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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