He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
