i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think my moral compass just broke
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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