Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
there is puke in my bra ... again
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