and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
