i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
