Please, let me fuck your mom
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
