you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
